I was married for 7 years to a guy and my family totally supported me when I left him. I wasn't aware of my sexuality at the time, though inwardly perhaps i was- merely hiding my feelings. Anyway, 7 years after leaving my male partner, I had a realisation. I found myself sneaking off to the local gay club as well as going away for weekends to pride festivals to find myself. However, going to gay clubs soon lost their novelty- particularly since- as a muslim, it seemed so contrary to my own values etc. I eventually, discovered gaydargirls website - wow! along with the internet. I met a girl and hit it off - unfortunately my family discovered my sexuality and my female members banned me from going outside and told me that I was sinful and lustful and I may as well be a paedophile. I ended up having my car keys taken away from me along with my credit cards etc... fortunately I was still on my holidays from work so i just spent long lengths of time in my bedroom crying and asking for forgiveness- though, for what I am not sure. I promised my mum, who by now had made herself majorily ill with stress, that I would not see the girl again (white bad girl- supposedly). So I didn't and I wasn't allowed to communicate with her. When I finally got my phone and car back, she had thought that my family had taken me away and married me off so she had gone off with another girl. However, today I have become more determind, I have saved my money and bought myself a house. When I'm ready i shall move out and leave my family, whether they like it or not. I seek their approval but I know that is merely a pipe dream. I live in hope of gaining solace in the sister's that I have made a friendship with and are more like sisters to me than my kindred. I have never known a bunch of more kind hearted women as many of the lesbians I know. Several have offered to help me with the house. So if they are bad women - what are the good women?
Always keep hope, Inshalla - if I am sinning Allah will forgive me. For HE made me as I am. I am a good person who does good deeds and these outweigh the minor thing that is unapproved of by my family. This is how I have rationalised something within me. The hadiths quoted in this website have given me much solace too.
Don't ever give up... keep that light shining as we are good people. Respect and salam to all who read. (F)