| Confidentiality | Press/Media |

Findings
4.1 There is a strong pressure on Muslims, particularly on Muslim women, to get married at a young age. Many Muslim LBT women are subjected to enormous pressure to get married; this pressure often intensifies after they come out. Consequently, many Muslim LBT women are (or have been) married and have children.

4.2 Some Muslim LBT women, particularly those who clearly self- identify as lesbian, were or are unwilling to enter into a marriage. Others see marriage as a welcome means to escape the family home and the restrictions placed on them. They may later come to see their marriage as a problematic restriction in terms of sexuality itself. Some Muslim LBT women have entered into marriages of convenience, sometimes with gay Muslim men.

4.3 Some Muslim LBT women are forcibly married or have had arranged marriages. Forced marriage is where one or both parties are not consenting to the marriage, whereas in an arranged marriage both parties agree to get married. Although it is very important to bear this distinction in mind, it can also be deceptive. Intensified pressure to conform, pressure to ‘please ’ the family, socio-economic and emotional dependency, as well as feelings of guilt or shame, can be factors that impede a person from giving their ‘full and free consent ’, despite formally agreeing to get married.

4.4 Some mothers who are struggling to come to terms with their LBT identity feel that they do not have rights to their children and give up custody to the husband. Some, who had later come to terms with their sexuality or gender identity, found it extremely difficult to regain custody or visiting rights, or to reconnect with their children.

4.5 Married or divorced Muslim LBT mothers often fear losing custody of their children, or even having their children abducted if they come out or are found out. One mother who tried to talk to her doctor about her fears concerning abduction of her children, found that he did not take her concerns seriously and instead communicated with her husband only. Her child was later abducted and taken abroad and now she has no means of contacting her child. Her case also highlights the enormous lack of legal and social support services that are available to assist child abduction cases. For example, she was not able to get financial support for legal action, because it was considered unlikely that her case would succeed.

4.6 Most Muslim LBT women agreed that there is a lack of support for women within Muslim communities, mosques and from religious organisations in situations of domestic violence, child custody disputes and abduction. There is generally a lack of information about their rights and where to get advice.

4.7 There is a lack of knowledge and understanding with service providers and other officials of the real risks Muslim LBT women and their children face. Police, lawyers, social workers and other officials are often unaware that gender identity or sexual orientation are factors that can directly contribute to situations of forced marriage, domestic violence, denial of access to children and abduction. (See also under the relevant headings.)

4.8 Moreover, some service providers or officials even become complicit in violating Muslim LBT women ’s rights as a result of their personal belief that it is ‘wrong ’ to be lesbian, bisexual or transgender. For example, some Muslim LBT women felt that service providers or officials were of the opinion that a LBT woman does not deserve custody of her children. The homophobic or heterosexist attitudes of service providers and officials creates an even greater mistrust amongst Muslim LBT women and increases their feeling that they have “nowhere to turn ”.

4.9 Social and legal infrastructures support the widespread belief that it is best for children to grow up in a heterosexual family, which complicates family life for LGBT families in general. In addition, the LGBT community is not geared towards LGBT parents, let alone for LBT mothers from a Muslim background.

4.10The options for ‘out ’ LBT women to have children are not always considered suitable by Muslim LBT women. Some are ambivalent and sometimes even hostile, about artificial insemination. Many voiced concerns regarding whether or not such an option would be in accordance with Islamic principles. Many women also believed that adoption is not allowed in Islamic principles of law. Many Muslim LBT women felt that there is inadequate information on gay parenting generally and no information that takes account of particular cultural or religious issues.

Needs
4.11 There is a need for service providers and officials to take a more gender and LBT sensitive approach when dealing with situations of domestic violence, forced marriage, child custody and child abduction. It is crucial that when sexual orientation or gender identity play a role in causing these problems, that this role be recognised and understood as such. Service providers and officials need to gain the trust of Muslim LBT women by not perpetuating homophobic or heterosexist views and by understanding Muslim LBT women ’s cultural backgrounds.

4.12 The rights of women who challenge what is perceived to be the norms of their communities, should not be compromised in the name of cultural sensitivity or as a result of multicultural policies. Service providers need to be all-inclusive and acknowledge diversity throughout society, including in Muslim communities.

4.13 There is a need for better access to (early) legal and social support for married or divorced Muslim LBT women and for women with children who are struggling with issues relating to marriage, divorce, domestic violence, custody and child abduction.

4.14 Muslim LBT women need more access to information on custody rights in schools of Muslim jurisprudence and in the legal systems of Muslim countries and UK law.

4.15 There is a need for information and resources to be provided for Muslim LBT mothers, for example information on parenting support groups in suitable confidential locations.

4.16 Issues relating to artificial insemination, adoption and raising children outside of a heterosexual family need to be sensitively explored in relation to Muslim religious principles.

4.17 There is a need for more positive images of LGBT families with children both within gay communities and within society in general.

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